Verse 1:
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly
I’m crying

Verse 2:
Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man, you’ve been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long

Chorus:
I am the egg man, they are the egg men
I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob

Verse 3:
Mister City policeman sitting, pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the sky, see how they run
I’m crying, I’m crying
I’m crying, I’m crying

Verse 4:
Yellow-matter custard dripping from a dead dog’s eye
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
Boy, you’ve been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down

Chorus:
I am the egg man, they are the egg men
I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob

Bridge:
Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun
If the sun don’t come, you get a tan
From standing in the English rain

Chorus:
I am the egg man (Now good sir, what are you?)
They are the egg men (A poor man, made tame to fortune’s blows)
I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob (Good pity)
G’goo goo g’joob

Verse 5:
Expert, textpert, choking smokers, don’t you think the joker laughs at you?
(Ho ho ho, hee hee hee, ha ha ha)
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snide
I’m crying

Verse 6:
Semolina pilchard climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe

Chorus:
I am the egg man, they are the egg men
I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob g’goo goo g’joob
Goo goo g’joob g’goo goo g’joob, g’goo
Joob! Joob! Joob!

Bridge:
Joob! Joob! Joob!
Joob! Joob! Joob! Joob! Joob!
Joob! Joob!
Joob! Joob!

Outro:
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Everybody’s got one, everybody’s got one
“Villain, take my Purse
If ever thou wilt thrive, bury my Body
And give the Letters which thou findst about me
To Edmund Earl of Gloucester: seek him out upon the English Party
Oh, untimely death, death–”
“I know thee well, a serviceable Villain; as duteous to the Vices of thy Mistress as badness would desire”
“What, is he dead?”
“Sit you down, Father; rest you”